Memories of Millie

Last Friday I uploaded a bunch of photos of my niece to facebook. It was the day to honor those who have suffered Pregnancy and Infancy Loss; I did it to spread awareness, but more so to show my sister and brother-in-law support on a day that I knew would weigh heavy on their hearts. 

Since that post, I have had a few coworkers come up and ask me questions about Millie and her family. At the end of those days that's what I would sit back and reflect on: The fact that they were curious and comfortable to ask and share their condolences. It opened the door for me to be able to share my memories. 

Millie was only here for 23 short days. Given that mine and Aaron's jobs were more demanding of our time, (dont get me wrong, they were flexible and we are grateful) I was only able to spend roughly a quarter of Millie's life with her. I think it makes me cherish all of those moments with her that much more, because there were fewer to hold onto. I was there for the "good" and for when things were getting "bad"; there were really happy and joyous occasions, sweet and special moments, and days that were really hard and memories very tearful. There are still all of those emotions in all of my memories. 

Honestly, I don't stop to reflect on them as deeply or as often as I should. That's why I am really grateful for having people still willing to reach out. Because the fact of the matter is I miss her and I need her and I love her.

 

Momma introducing me to her baby girl for the first time at three days old. 

My first close-up of Millie.

Our first photos with Millie. Millie was allowed one guest at a time, outside of Mom or Dad. But she could still only be held by her parents. Which was fine, because we weren't taking any chances...obviously.

After our first trip, we barely made it home when we learned that Millie's health and life were at a greater risk than originally anticipated. We went back that same week. We drove straight to the hospital, and I finally got to hold baby girl.

Avett wasn't allowed on the unit, because ya-know, kids are germy and stuff. We weren't sure how long Millie would be in her hospital home and so we questioned if Avett would get to meet his cuz. We wanted her to know that he was thinking of her and close by.

But on February 10th, with the help of Hospice Atlanta, my sister Laura - the NICU nurse, her brave parents and the rest of her supportive family, Millie made it home.

And Avett finally got to meet his cousin Millie.

Mom and dad got a photo with both of their grand babies. A cherished and highly anticipated moment.

She celebrated Valentine's Day surrounded by an intense, unconditional love and in return filled our own hearts with so much love. (And she even got to wear the outfit her Auntie Jay got her as a welcome present). 

We shared many "firsts" together, plenty of snuggles, and one really hard, heartfelt goodbye.

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart; I'll stay there forever." - Winnie the Pooh

Day of Hope

We celebrate August 19th as the Day of Hope for those who have suffered child/infant loss. These prayer flags are a way to honor our loved ones lives and helps to create meaning amongst our grief. (Find out more at carlymarieprojectheal.com)

In memory of my angel niece, Millie Clara King. Six months ago today she made her big debut into Heaven after living 23 beautiful and courageous days here with her family. 

The day she was born was the most rewarding and hopeful day that I recall from her life. Rewarding, because the days leading up to her arrival were heavy and worrisome. Hopeful, because she was so beautiful it was hard to imagine anything so terrible could happen to something so precious and innocent. Hopeful, because she tolerated her first day on Earth better than anyone could have imagined. It was the strongest of all feelings.

We of course continued to remain hopeful for the next 23 days: hopeful that her doctors would know how to navigate the path ahead, hopeful that she would continue to transition into this big world outside of the protection of her mother's womb, hopeful that her medical team at Kennestone and CHOA-Egleston would take good care of her, hopeful that she would make it to six months and be able to endure serious surgeries needed to improve her health, hopeful that she would make it home. 

Today we remain hopeful. Hopeful that she is at peace, hopeful that she is with family, hopeful that our hearts will heal, hopeful that days will get easier, hopeful that she can hear our prayers, hopeful that she is watching over us, hopeful that she knows how much she is loved and missed. 

There's always hope,

Hope in death.

It brands these bonds,

Refines the rest.

But these days are numbered,

This life absolute.

I need this faith to keep me walkin',

To keep me alive.

"These Days are Numbered" by The Head and The Heart.

(These following photos are by Erin's Attic Photography)

(she had the most perfect footprints)

(These following photos are pictures of pictures because I don't have the original digitals :-) most likely all are taken by my sister Laura)

(They truly have a cousin bond that is continuing to strengthen as Avett gets older. He loves kissing Millie's pictures.)

"These two hands will love you, think of you, wherever you are." D. Adams & P. Keiser

Love you to the stars and back, Mills. 

Birthdays of Sorts

Today is the birthday of the head of the household. He and his twin sister turn 29 today. I can't get over how old that sounds (SORRY!) even though I'm not that far behind. It has been our tradition that the twins celebrate their birthdays together. But this year we are down in Georgia visiting some very special people. And as it turns out, Aaron gets to celebrate his birthday with our brand new niece, Millie, who turns two weeks old today. To celebrate her fight, she and her parents get to come home today (where we have been bunking) so that the immediate family can spend some quality time soaking up some snuggles with our little girl. I can't imagine a better gift than that!

With the busy-ness of our lives lately, I forgot to write Avett's 9 month stats and changes. Avett is 17#, 9 oz and 27.5" long. True to the little Wiedmeyer that he is, he has fallen securely in the 25th percentile for both weight and height. -- I'm so proud!

Changes: Avett got his first tooth. He had four coming in, but his top left was the first to break through. He is pulling himself up to stand with ease, and plops himself down to sit from standing. He is very proud of his standing skills. He is walking along furniture and just recently began to walk behind some of his push-toys with good control. He can crawl up stairs with close supervision. He has graduated from army crawl to the real deal! He is eating more solids and tends to prefer this to his purée. And best of all, he is learning how to give kisses. Those beautiful open-mouth kisses with a little tongue!

Likes: Sucking his LEFT thumb (while hooking his pointer finger over his nose -- it helps keep the thumb from falling out), Bananas, oatmeal and muffins. Standing and walking. He has started to like snuggling more with his parents and with blankies and animals. Loves door stoppers - the kind that "boing" when you flick them. He also spends most of his days trying to get at electrical outlets, cords, remotes and phones. He has actually figured out remotes to a surprisingly advanced degree considering his young age -- parenting WIN! And how could I forget, this kid is obsessed with his Mama! OBSESSED!!!!

Dislikes: His mom leaving the room moving an inch away from him. Getting his diaper changed. Going to bed. Being warm.