Giving Thanks

It's no secret that 2015 has not been the brightest of years for the Wiedmeyer family. We have lived some dark days and those gray clouds are still hovering; but there are plenty of things that shed light onto our days to bring happiness. 

I am grateful that my sister and brother-in-law have and continue to experience the unconditional love of a parent, even in ways that truly test and define boundaries in a manner that no parent should ever have to face. 

I am grateful my parents have been blessed with both a grandson and a granddaughter; got to hold them both at the same time & continue to hold them in their hearts with equal parts of love to share. 

I am grateful for my mom's strength to endure the loss of a grandchild at the same time she learned of her sister's cancer diagnosis. 

I am grateful for my sister, Laura, helping to support the Kings as they transitioned home with Mils. 

I am grateful for so many things that Millie lived through - but I'm most grateful for the fact that she lived and we loved her without abandon. We still do.

I am grateful that to this day, despite spending roughly only 5 days with Millie at a very young age, Avett still knows who she is. He recognizes her in pictures. He knows her as a butterfly when we see them in books. He kisses her picture often and out of the blue. He lets me know that her spirit is still with us.

I am grateful that I have been able to share our home with my sister for the past two years, having her here to help with Avett and to keep me company in the evenings -- or when my boys are away for the holidays. 

I am grateful that although I am missing out on the Bollwahn thanksgiving festivities, I only have one week to go before I will join in on the family fun to celebrate my nephews first birthday. & I'm happy Aaron and Avett get to spend such a good chunk of time with their family.

(I'm also grateful for my new job -- although it kept me home for the holiday, I'm happy it gives me more time with my family throughout the year.) 

I am grateful to have my own family that is the ideal image one always hopes to have, knowing how fragile and suspect this dream can be. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Day of Hope

We celebrate August 19th as the Day of Hope for those who have suffered child/infant loss. These prayer flags are a way to honor our loved ones lives and helps to create meaning amongst our grief. (Find out more at carlymarieprojectheal.com)

In memory of my angel niece, Millie Clara King. Six months ago today she made her big debut into Heaven after living 23 beautiful and courageous days here with her family. 

The day she was born was the most rewarding and hopeful day that I recall from her life. Rewarding, because the days leading up to her arrival were heavy and worrisome. Hopeful, because she was so beautiful it was hard to imagine anything so terrible could happen to something so precious and innocent. Hopeful, because she tolerated her first day on Earth better than anyone could have imagined. It was the strongest of all feelings.

We of course continued to remain hopeful for the next 23 days: hopeful that her doctors would know how to navigate the path ahead, hopeful that she would continue to transition into this big world outside of the protection of her mother's womb, hopeful that her medical team at Kennestone and CHOA-Egleston would take good care of her, hopeful that she would make it to six months and be able to endure serious surgeries needed to improve her health, hopeful that she would make it home. 

Today we remain hopeful. Hopeful that she is at peace, hopeful that she is with family, hopeful that our hearts will heal, hopeful that days will get easier, hopeful that she can hear our prayers, hopeful that she is watching over us, hopeful that she knows how much she is loved and missed. 

There's always hope,

Hope in death.

It brands these bonds,

Refines the rest.

But these days are numbered,

This life absolute.

I need this faith to keep me walkin',

To keep me alive.

"These Days are Numbered" by The Head and The Heart.

(These following photos are by Erin's Attic Photography)

(she had the most perfect footprints)

(These following photos are pictures of pictures because I don't have the original digitals :-) most likely all are taken by my sister Laura)

(They truly have a cousin bond that is continuing to strengthen as Avett gets older. He loves kissing Millie's pictures.)

"These two hands will love you, think of you, wherever you are." D. Adams & P. Keiser

Love you to the stars and back, Mills.